Eating healthy can also be a yummy way to take good care of yourself.  We know that’s a prerequisite to having the positive life energy needed to make the world a better place!

That’s all important, because you have big important work to do in the world.  So you might as well eat nutritionally healthy food with properties that are good for you.  Spicing it up can be a great way to do that and enjoy it, too!

We recently came across a great recipe for Ginger and Cinnamon-Spiced Pumpkin Muffins – a great way to make use of a wonderful fall fruit, the pumpkin (yes, it’s actually a fruit since it has internal seeds).  It’s from the site of women’s holistic health and nutritional counselor, Irina Wardas, HHC.  Her adapted recipe is full of nutrients like beta-carotene, cinnamon and ginger which are well-known anti-inflammatory spices, and vitamin C from orange zest – all of which might even help reduce inflammation and relieve related pain. 

Grab the recipe and make some for yourself, your family and your friends - it’ll make your house smell great, too, so we have to add credit for some great aromatherapy.  You’ll find some other great and healthy recipes on Irina’s site, too.

And oh, enjoy the fruits of the season!!

Colleague Ruth Ann Harnisch shared some great words of wisdom recently in a post called U Do U.  She reminded me of one of my favorite book titles “What You Think of Me is None of My Business” by Terry Cole Whittaker.  It’s also one of my favorite mantras. 

It’s been a difficult one to master, for sure.  For me I think it’s because early conditioning followed by nursing, my foundational learning and career, caused me to be really confused at a young age about what “caring” means. Focusing on myself was selfish and to be avoided – until I finally learned the ‘put on your own oxygen mask first’ principle.  Clearly a depleted human has little to give, whereas one who is full to overflowing, fulfilled, has lots to contribute.  Caring from that place is a lot richer.

Lawyering – the ‘you’ve come to me because I know better than you about this matter’ training further distorted the definition into “I care, therefore I must tell you [advise] what to do.’ For the most part that worked, but it wasn’t very satisfying.  Would much rather see people empower themselves and avoid legal (and other) problems!  

Fortunately, coach training certainly helped change both those viewpoints.  There is only so much I can do to begin with.  Secondly, you’re the only one who can actually change your life – and I get to revel vicariously in your victories! I can be of service, but even in service others have to exercise some self-help and accept what you have to offer – or not.  It’s their choice always, and there’s not much I can do about their choices.  I can listen, lend support, provide ideas, and give feedback, but the choices and actions someone takes after that (as well as the consequences) are theirs alone. And I can “want for” your greatness.  Which I definitely DO!  Playing small doesn’t do you or the world much good.

So, I care about you without wanting to change you (though I’m willing to help if you want it -and it can be on your terms, not mine, I’m more than okay with that – even if I’d have chosen a different result).  I didn’t create this universe and I’m not running it, so often the result WILL be something other than what I had in mind – ah, the multitude of possibilities.  And that’s not only okay, actually it’s good.  And it reminds me that the point of power for myself is within me – how I shape my own attitudes, perceptions and choices.  What I let in and what I keep out.  True for us ALL.

And I can care what you think without feeling like it’s a mandate to change myself if you think differently or don’t agree with my choices.   But that’s not how I’ve had it wired up most of my life.  Thank God we don’t learn less.

That mantra “what you think of me is none of my business” puts it all in perspective, along with its corollary – what I think of you is none of your business.  Sounds kind of callous, but maybe it’s really the best kind of caring … What we think about is our business.  And it’s good to focus on what we’re thinking about, and what we’d prefer to be thinking about – because THAT is the place from which we create!!

How would your life be different if you kept the focus on yourself, worked on your own fulfilment, chose to be happy (as opposed to any other feeling you indulge from time to time), and gave back from a place of feeling fully contented with your life (no matter what anyone else said or did)?  If you want help with that, let me know.  I’ve been around that block and am happy to help you choose what you want from your own array of possibilities.  That orientation for service is the best way I can demonstrate I care.

Wishing you the best – however YOU define that.  Cheers, Dolly

Some time ago, we entered a new era of “accelerating acceleration.” It is an era that allows humans to provide a higher standard of living for everyone on the planet than ever before. It is also a time when things are being shaken up for purposes of being reordered – a time of greater chaos. It’s happening on a global stage: witness the world economy which isn’t so much of a disaster as it is a revelation of what’s real, and what wasn’t working. That gives us clear indications of what needs to be done differently.

This shake up is also happening on an individual basis. Considering that the world stage is too big for any one of us to handle, the question becomes what to focus on and what to do.

This brings us to the topic of stress. I want to address this topic because I see around me lately much greater incidence of its effects – in the forms of injuries, illnesses and ‘accidents.’ (I’m one who doesn’t believe in accidents or coincidences – things happen for reasons, which we can look for, examine and utilize to make progress in life). Just staying in focus, let alone making changes, doing things differently or taking new directions, requires mastery of stress and coping resources.

I have made requests of countless people lately to turn off the “news.” When it actually is new, it gets repeated over and over so you don’t get much more than the initial sound bite. And any good news immediately gets turned into all the bad things that could have happened instead or related disasters around the world or throughout history. Check the top of the hour report on the radio once or twice a day, scan the newspaper or watch a few minutes of television news if you must, but by all means don’t leave the TV or radio on all day on one of those all-news channels that rarely if ever has anything to say about the good in the world or what went right today.

If the stress of your own personal situation is not enough, taking on all the negativity that is being spewed out on the public airwaves can be damaging mojo. “They” say it makes people feel better to know that things are worse off somewhere else. I don’t know about you, but hearing about others’ misfortunes has never made me feel better. And in this energetic universe, it is difficult to avoid being adversely affected by the mere daily transmission of it all, whether you put your focus on it or not.

What seems to be resulting from all this negative noise, is that I see people literally tripping over their own good sense. People around me have injured joints, suffered house fires, scratched their eyes, gotten serious head colds, experienced back or arm pain. I recently checked on someone I know well and inquired how she was doing. “Great,” she told me. “Good,” I said. “Keep it that way. Take good care of yourself,” explaining that I saw the current negative atmosphere really having an impact on people.

The next morning I got an email from her telling me that overnight she had gotten up and fallen over a new barricade she’d erected to segregate a new dog in a particular room in the house. As she told the story she said, “I knew the barrier was there, and as I approached it I said to myself, ‘I should turn on the light switch.’ ” And in the time it took her to override that thought, she took her next step and landed on the floor – with a knee and rib injuries (fortunately no fractures)!

It’s time to slow down. As in mountain climbing, keep moving, but make sure you have a good foothold before you take the next step. In response to the pressure of negativity, too many of us are stepping forward too quickly on shaky ground.

I’ve written a longer article, called The Science of Performance, on the physiological effects of stress and the related subjects of emotional and heart intelligence. Understanding those effects, and mastering multiple intelligences as coping resources can be incredibly helpful. You can develop support that allows you to keep going despite the stressors in your life. You can access that article here.

In addition, there are other practices that can be helpful:

1. HALT. That’s right, just stop. Take a deep breath and notice where your feet are (that’s where you are). Right here, right now, not in the past or in the future, but in this moment. Now scan for the basics of how you’re doing. Are you hungry, angry, lonely or tired? Attend to those basics – whatever else you’re doing can likely wait (and may be adversely impacted if you continue with it in one of those states).

2. Identify Your Needs And Get Them Met. Beyond the basics, we all have other needs, whether we want to admit having them or not, and our needs are different from those of others. Often, they are things left from childhood that we somehow never got enough of. As adults, it’s our job to identify and fully address them. They are the potholes on the road of life: when filled, the road is a lot smoother.

3. Get Complete With Your Past. If you have unresolved issues from the past, they may continue to control or direct your present choices and patterns you create in the future. Identify them and get them handled. Work with an appropriate therapist if need be. Yeah, looking at this stuff may be a pain, but you’ll feel and be better for it. It’s time to get over it and feel strong.

4. Say “No.” A rule I like a lot: if it’s not a “definite yes,” it’s a no. If you can’t say no, practice saying nothing at first – to keep you from saying yes and getting involved in something before you have a chance to think about it. Find ways to avoid saying yes, like “Thanks for the opportunity, but I’ll need to check my schedule and get back with you” that buy you time to follow up and say no. That way you don’t spend your precious life energy on something you are not really jazzed about.

5. Design 10 Daily, Delicious Habits that are good for you and do them every day. They can be as simple as playing soothing music on your way to work, or taking an afternoon tea break to put your feet up. Make them easy and delightful so you want to do them. Do them every day, so if you have to miss a day, you pick up the next day. Okay, I hear you, if you cannot come up with 10, then do 5!

6. Stop Tolerating and Complete Incompletions. Just “putting up with” steals your life energy. Having unfinished business or projects does, too. It’s like having a hole in your cup of life: the universe can be pouring its abundance into your cup, but the holes created by tolerations and incompletions will allow it to drain out so your cup is never full … let alone overflowing. Don’t you want to be someone who can truly say “my cup runneth over” with things you feel good about?

7. Simplify Your Life. Use the 4,000 year old art of Feng Shui rule of thumb: if it’s not beautiful or useful, put it back out into circulation so someone for whom it will be beautiful or useful can find it. Clear out your space. Clutter has energy (like a toleration or incompletion) and robs you of yours. Spend less (better yet, no) time with toxic people. How do you know if they are toxic for you? Do you feel uncomfortable or uneasy around them? That’s an initial clue for you to look deeper at whether you want to spend time with them; limit it if you think you must. No need to explain it to them, just take care of you. Limit the number or length of extra activities, too, so you get enough rest and rejuvenation time.

8. Decide what’s “enough.” What makes each of us feel abundant and powerful is different. More isn’t necessarily better, it can add considerable burdens. Identify what’s really important to you. Do you really need “that” (is it a definite yes!?) or will it just turn to a form of clutter or something you have to clear out at some point? Mass market advertising that’s not really service minded or seeking to add real value (rather that merely seeks to part you from your money) will try to persuade you that you need things you don’t or that if others have it you should, too. Recognize that brainwashing for what it is and drown it out.

9. Create a Daily Ritual to Connect to the Universe. Practice stillness. Create your own rituals for self-renewal. Visualize your day the way you want it to be. Journal about it. Connect with the concept of something greater than yourself and your immediate situation – it is a vast universe full of amazing resources. Read something enlightening. Talk with the power you conceive God to be, if you have such a relationship, in positive terms. Make a list of what you’re grateful for. Light a candle and say a prayer – the easiest and shortest one may just be “thank you.” Ask for guidance and a sign to know it’s been given to you. Create a special ritual for yourself to practice everyday, to support you in remembering what’s important for you to get the most out of each day.

10. Get to Know Your Heart. Your heart has its own independent intelligence, even if your brain (and many institutes of higher learning) try to convince you that logic and rational/linear thinking are the only relevant ways to make decisions. Where do you think creativity, innovation and intuition come from? Okay, maybe the too-little-exercised right side of your brain, but remember that the brain is not totally in control. Yes, it sends impulses to the heart, but the heart doesn’t always respond – and the heart independently communicates with the rest of the body and even electromagnetically outside your body for several feet. 

You can learn more about all this at the website of a great organization called HeartMath. I particularly recommend reading about the Resonant Heart there.  Learn their “Freeze-Frame®” technique – a simple 5 step process that can be done in as little as a few minutes – in a fascinating book called The HeartMath Solution.

Learning to focus on your heart intelligence may produce results that seem coincidental, but are really important information you received because you were open to it. Synchronicity, serendipity and synergy are real forces even if they don’t have a logical explanation. This focus is a definite upgrade to Heart 2.0 – an operating system that does much more than pump blood.

Listen to your heart, and take good care of you while you explore your uniqueness and discover the important work that you came to earth to do. Come out of the chaotic shake-up ready to do the right things for the right reasons. That may well be the real reason you’re here in the first place.

The legacy that your life is and will become is impacted by whether or not you are at your best.  Because creating and building anything all starts with who you are.   And who you are is directly impacted by how you are.

Do a personal systems check:  are you drained or are you energized and really ready to tackle whatever’s next?  How resilient are you and able to bounce back in general?  Do you find yourself often fatigued or are you mostly excited about life? This matters because on the journey of building something, as on the road of life itself, there may be apparent road blocks and set backs.

Sometimes, these are blessings in disguise if we can step back and thoughtfully respond to them – rather than react in knee-jerk fashion.  But being able to roll with such obstacles and develop other awarenesses about why they are happening and what to do about them, requires that we exercise extreme self-care.  Put your oxygen mask on first, as they say on the airplane, and then assist others around you.

I’m a nose-to-the-grindstone type of person – especially when it comes to doing things I really love and am interested in.  I like to dig in and keep going.  Fortunately, since I run my own business, it’s only internal forces compelling me to work hard, but there is never a shortage of things to attend to.  I need to remind myself to back away and rest.  It’s one of the reasons I choose to live and spend time in beautiful outdoor spaces that I find are rejuvenating.

So what’s your daily self-care ritual?  Turns out even the best of them can be maximized. British researchers recently demonstrated how even mental exhaustion can prevent you from being the best you can be. Their research concluded that being mentally exhausted can impair a person’s exercise performance.  This finding may help explain why even though we healthily get to working out, it is sometimes harder or we want to quit earlier.

It might benefit you to add the word “HALT” to your self-care focus.  When things are getting a little shaky or rocky on life’s journey, ask: am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired?  One of them usually covers the situation.  This is not the time to keep pushing yourself.  And an awareness of which one of these little factors is at work allows you to back off from what you’re doing, and know what you need to do next.  It’s probably to let go of what you’re wrestling with and either eat, spend a few minutes writing about something, call a friend or take a little nap.

The world is counting on you to be the best you can be so you can joyfully give your best gifts.  Start by giving the world, and yourself, the gift of regular self-care – even if all that looks like is to ‘halt’ periodically and assess what you really need to do next.